Before I knew about The Work, I experienced a deep well of sadness and self-hate inside. I often felt like I was drowning in it. Years of therapy had helped me to manage the anger and resentment that had been my constant companions. Still, I saw myself as a victim of fate: unloved by my family, misunderstood by others, and crippled by my own bad choices and unpredictable emotions. I kept looking to others for the love, approval, and appreciation that I thought would bring healing and wholeness. No matter how much I received, it was never enough to cap that well. In 2003, a friend introduced me to The Work. I did The Work on my thoughts about a family member. Within 30 minutes most of the fear and pain about that situation had simply melted away. Two weeks later I attended The School for The Work, and it changed my life forever. Since then The Work has become a daily part of my life, and I’ve noticed a gradual but profound shift: my world has softened, opened, and lightened up. Here are some once-painful or difficult areas of my life where I have found greater peace through The Work. Please don’t think this list means I no longer have stressful emotions or thoughts — I do! What’s different is that now I have a choice: I can either attach to my thoughts and stay stuck, or I can question them and set myself free. Anger:  As a child I came to believe it was my job to be the angry one in my family. My family, and later my husbands and children, dreaded my sudden rages. This pattern continued into middle age, and it was very painful. Today I rarely feel anger. When I do, I put my angry thoughts on paper and do The Work on them. Parental depression/suicide:  My father lived with depression for a good part of his life and ultimately chose to end his suffering on his own terms. Through The Work, I have ended my suffering about him. Mother love/rejection:  For 45 years I shut my mother out of my life, believing that she had rejected me and loved my other siblings more. Nothing was sweeter than reconciling with this beautiful woman and discovering the boundless love for each other we will always share. Marriages/Divorces:  I have been married to two wonderful men, and divorced from them. During my marriages I blamed my husbands for my unhappiness, and felt bitter and competitive toward the father of my children after we divorced. I have made amends to both my former husbands, for whom I feel profound gratitude and love. Being “alone:”  OK, I was a fairy-tale junkie. I believed I needed a man’s love in order to be happy and feel acceptable. Being single at age 55 was not part of my plan. When I began to make friends with my thoughts, I started to love living with myself. Parenting:  I thought I knew what was best for my children — even after they were grown up. I meddled and gave them advice. Now I notice how painful it feels to be in their business. I see that my job is to love them. Period. Step-parenting:  As a step-mother I was very confused: I wanted the man but not his children, whom I saw as rivals. I was harsh and unkind to them — my greatest shame. I have made amends to my step-daughters and forgiven myself. Alzheimer’s:  My mother lived with Alzheimer’s for the last ten years of her life. I no longer see this as a tragedy. I came to love joining my mom in her world. Relationships:  Through The Work I have found the courage and kindness to communicate more honestly and to see others’ criticism of me as a gift. I don’t expect anyone else to make me feel good or happy. Perfectionism:  I thought doing it right and being above reproach would earn me the love and security I wanted. I criticized myself mercilessly for any perceived mistake or flaw. I criticized others too. I’ve come to realize that what is is always perfect — even on a bad hair day. Fear:  From an early age, I lived my life in fear: fear of a vengeful God, fear of doing it wrong, fear of being seen, fear of being rejected. Fear of not having enough money, fear of losing the money I had. I now see that there is nothing to fear. Reality has always been kinder than my thoughts about it. My heart’s desire is to live fearlessly — and occasionally, I do. Read Bio